Nourish
THE SURPRISING TRUTH ABOUT HAPPINESS—PLUS TIPS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN
Meditation, self-care, solo escapes—so much of what’s trending in the wellness world right now requires being alone. And while there are of course benefits to all of these activities, the focus on solitary pursuits often leads to isolation. And with more of our lives lived digitally, it’s more important than ever to remember that connecting in real life is key to our overall happiness.
“I found that the single biggest factor affecting human happiness that cuts across age, gender, race, and income is the strength of our relationships with other people,” says Ruth Whippman, author of America the Anxious. “And it’s not just our happiness, it’s also our health. Studies show that low social connection carries a risk of early death similar to that of smoking,” she continues. An 80-year study by Harvard University found that relationship satisfaction is also a better predictor of physical health than cholesterol numbers and that close relationships are one of the best ways to protect your mental health.
“Technology has taken over our lives to the point where we are more likely to engage with our smartphones than the people we are with,” Whippman says. Consider the current generation of teenagers—the first generation to be raised with and tied to their smartphones. They’re more likely to be anxious, depressed, or have suicidal thoughts than kids just five years ago. Being connected digitally is not enough.
“In my experience, it’s very easy to let socializing fall to the bottom of our priority lists. After we have done work, kids, house chores, and exercise, socializing can seem like an optional extra. And we sometimes even feel guilty about it, as though it’s somehow self-indulgent,” Whippman says.
Fortunately, it’s actually fairly easy to get back into the happiness habit of connecting with other people. Here, 5 easy ways to make everyday a little brighter, starting right now.
CONNECT WITH YOUR PEOPLE.
At the end of a long day, it’s tempting to sink into the couch with Netflix or Instagram—but taking time to talk with your partner, roommate, or kids, without any distractions, can instantly make you feel more engaged with your life. “My husband and I ban our phones at dinnertime, and after the kids are in bed, so that we actually talk to each other. It doesn’t always work, but it’s a start,” Whippman shares.
Try it: Put your phone in airplane mode for two hours each evening to create a little space to connect with the people around you.
SWEAT WITH A FRIEND.
Anyone who’s been to a studio class knows that there’s power in group dynamics. And if you actually connect with the people around you, it can be an even bigger mood boost.
Try it: Invite a friend to a B3 class, or ask the nice woman you see every week in class to grab a coffee after. She’s likely craving the connection too!
CONNECT NOW, NOT LATER.
“Our schedules are so busy these days that we often get to the evening of a party and cancel out of sheer exhaustion,” Whippman says. If that sounds familiar, try making spontaneous plans now and then to help avoid the all too common flake-out.
Try it: The next time you feel the urge, reach out to a friend and make plans for that very day. (P.S. It’s actually often easier than planning ahead!)
PICK UP THE PHONE.
While texting can help foster short bursts of connection, there’s nothing like hearing a voice to make a conversation more meaningful.
Try it: If meeting up face-to-face isn’t an option, channel your inner 16-year-old and phone a friend (or Facetime for the full effect!)
MAKE COLLABORATIVE GOALS.
Solitary pursuits like retreats and meditation can do wonders for our moods, but they can mean even more for our overall wellbeing if we do them together. Whether you’re physically together or you simply commit to a common goal, there’s no reason to go it alone.
Try it: Ask a friend to tag team on a wellness goal, and check in regularly to encourage, remind, and reinforce your way to the finish line.
Meditation, self-care, solo escapes—so much of what’s trending in the wellness world right now requires being alone. And while there are of course benefits to all of these activities, the focus on solitary pursuits often leads to isolation. And with more of our lives lived digitally, it’s more important than ever to remember that connecting in real life is key to our overall happiness.
“I found that the single biggest factor affecting human happiness that cuts across age, gender, race, and income is the strength of our relationships with other people,” says Ruth Whippman, author of America the Anxious. “And it’s not just our happiness, it’s also our health. Studies show that low social connection carries a risk of early death similar to that of smoking,” she continues. An 80-year study by Harvard University found that relationship satisfaction is also a better predictor of physical health than cholesterol numbers and that close relationships are one of the best ways to protect your mental health.
“Technology has taken over our lives to the point where we are more likely to engage with our smartphones than the people we are with,” Whippman says. Consider the current generation of teenagers—the first generation to be raised with and tied to their smartphones. They’re more likely to be anxious, depressed, or have suicidal thoughts than kids just five years ago. Being connected digitally is not enough.
“In my experience, it’s very easy to let socializing fall to the bottom of our priority lists. After we have done work, kids, house chores, and exercise, socializing can seem like an optional extra. And we sometimes even feel guilty about it, as though it’s somehow self-indulgent,” Whippman says.
Fortunately, it’s actually fairly easy to get back into the happiness habit of connecting with other people. Here, 5 easy ways to make everyday a little brighter, starting right now.
CONNECT WITH YOUR PEOPLE.
At the end of a long day, it’s tempting to sink into the couch with Netflix or Instagram—but taking time to talk with your partner, roommate, or kids, without any distractions, can instantly make you feel more engaged with your life. “My husband and I ban our phones at dinnertime, and after the kids are in bed, so that we actually talk to each other. It doesn’t always work, but it’s a start,” Whippman shares.
Try it: Put your phone in airplane mode for two hours each evening to create a little space to connect with the people around you.
SWEAT WITH A FRIEND.
Anyone who’s been to a studio class knows that there’s power in group dynamics. And if you actually connect with the people around you, it can be an even bigger mood boost.
Try it: Invite a friend to a B3 class, or ask the nice woman you see every week in class to grab a coffee after. She’s likely craving the connection too!
CONNECT NOW, NOT LATER.
“Our schedules are so busy these days that we often get to the evening of a party and cancel out of sheer exhaustion,” Whippman says. If that sounds familiar, try making spontaneous plans now and then to help avoid the all too common flake-out.
Try it: The next time you feel the urge, reach out to a friend and make plans for that very day. (P.S. It’s actually often easier than planning ahead!)
PICK UP THE PHONE.
While texting can help foster short bursts of connection, there’s nothing like hearing a voice to make a conversation more meaningful.
Try it: If meeting up face-to-face isn’t an option, channel your inner 16-year-old and phone a friend (or Facetime for the full effect!)
MAKE COLLABORATIVE GOALS.
Solitary pursuits like retreats and meditation can do wonders for our moods, but they can mean even more for our overall wellbeing if we do them together. Whether you’re physically together or you simply commit to a common goal, there’s no reason to go it alone.
Try it: Ask a friend to tag team on a wellness goal, and check in regularly to encourage, remind, and reinforce your way to the finish line.
