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Why Being Healthy Isn’t All On You
I am sitting here spiraling because I can’t figure out when I am going to work out today. I’m craving the mind-clearing energy surge I get after a barre3 class. I also want to feel organized, accomplished, and successful—and for me, taking a class takes care of all three of these wants. So, why am I not in class? I slept in, so I missed the early-morning hour when no one wants a piece of me. My schedule today is jam-packed with meetings and deadlines that handcuff me to my desk. Right after work, I’m on turbo mom-duty, juggling carpools, homework, team tryouts, and dinner. I didn’t manage my time well. Ugh. The feelings of being a fitness failure are seeping in, and it’s only 9 a.m. on a Monday.
I have yet to meet a single person who doesn’t feel like a fitness failure on a regular basis. We all do. It’s a universal truth. Even the people you least expect—high-performing athletes, yogis, celebrities, people who run big fitness companies—struggle with fitness. We are all in this together.
What we all have in common is that we live in a culture that makes it challenging to be healthy. There are all kinds of external reasons for this—demanding careers, endless sitting, fast food, stress, trauma, injuries, unrealistic goals, confusing body-image messages, and more. All of these forces pull us from our ideal health.
And yet, even though our culture makes it hard to be healthy, most of us put all the blame on ourselves when we don’t exercise or eat as well as we’d like to. Why aren’t we taking care of ourselves? It isn’t for lack of knowledge; many of us know how to exercise and eat well. It isn’t for lack of resources; we’re constantly bombarded with fitness and diet products and services. And it isn’t for lack of wanting; we all really want to be healthier and feel good in our bodies. Shouldn’t it, then, be our fault if we don’t take care of ourselves?
My answer is—no. I do believe that each of us holds the power to be healthier, happier, and more balanced. But the struggle to get there is very real—and it’s not all on us. Accepting that we live in a culture that’s not always conducive to healthy, balanced living helps relieve the pressure we put on ourselves.
So, what do we do? We can’t change this massive culture we are all inserted into. But we can create our own mini-spheres of influence around us. I call this building your OWN culture of good health. This is what each barre3 studio symbolizes, but it can also extend beyond our studios and right into your life all day long. My mom once told me, “surround yourself with people who feed you.” She didn’t mean literally feed me—but this helps too! She meant that I should surround myself with people who support me, nourish me, and make me stronger, healthier, and happier. This is the single most powerful piece of advice I have ever received.
Once I tapped into her wisdom, I created a protective bubble of sorts to help counter all the forces that pull me away from whole-body health. In my late 20s I made a conscious choice to seek out people who supported what I value, like being in the outdoors, taking fun group-exercise classes, eating healthy food, traveling, being silly, having meaningful conversations about relationships, growing old, reading good books, parenting, and all the other things that fill me up.
When I started barre3 in 2008, the most incredible thing happened. My community grew exponentially. I now have hundreds of people who support my healthy lifestyle each day, including everyone I work with here at barre3. So, today for example, I plan to lean on my team. I bet someone would love to have a walking meeting with me. But even if this doesn’t happen, someone here will remind me that being healthy isn’t just about exercising. Someone in my culture of good health will inspire me to take a deep breath, laugh at myself, and move forward in a healthy way.
Chances are, you’ve already begun building your own culture of good health—perhaps without even realizing that’s what you’re doing. It’s the friend who takes barre3 classes with you, the coworker you walk with during lunch to pick up a salad, the sister who texts to remind you to take your Vitamin D. I encourage you to keep building, using my mom’s invaluable advice as your north star. And remember: Just as your culture of good health supports your healthy lifestyle, you support theirs. Embrace that role. We are all teachers AND students in this. We’re all here to learn and discover—and that includes me. It’s collective empowerment, and it’s why our new hashtag #b365 is taking off on Instagram. Our goal is to provide a place for us to connect with each other, support one another, and cheer each other on. It’s a positive way to crowd out unhealthy forces and shift our focus to healthy living. I invite you to share your healthy moments and tag them #b365, and the barre3 community—your community—will rally around you.
I am sitting here spiraling because I can’t figure out when I am going to work out today. I’m craving the mind-clearing energy surge I get after a barre3 class. I also want to feel organized, accomplished, and successful—and for me, taking a class takes care of all three of these wants. So, why am I not in class? I slept in, so I missed the early-morning hour when no one wants a piece of me. My schedule today is jam-packed with meetings and deadlines that handcuff me to my desk. Right after work, I’m on turbo mom-duty, juggling carpools, homework, team tryouts, and dinner. I didn’t manage my time well. Ugh. The feelings of being a fitness failure are seeping in, and it’s only 9 a.m. on a Monday.
I have yet to meet a single person who doesn’t feel like a fitness failure on a regular basis. We all do. It’s a universal truth. Even the people you least expect—high-performing athletes, yogis, celebrities, people who run big fitness companies—struggle with fitness. We are all in this together.
What we all have in common is that we live in a culture that makes it challenging to be healthy. There are all kinds of external reasons for this—demanding careers, endless sitting, fast food, stress, trauma, injuries, unrealistic goals, confusing body-image messages, and more. All of these forces pull us from our ideal health.
And yet, even though our culture makes it hard to be healthy, most of us put all the blame on ourselves when we don’t exercise or eat as well as we’d like to. Why aren’t we taking care of ourselves? It isn’t for lack of knowledge; many of us know how to exercise and eat well. It isn’t for lack of resources; we’re constantly bombarded with fitness and diet products and services. And it isn’t for lack of wanting; we all really want to be healthier and feel good in our bodies. Shouldn’t it, then, be our fault if we don’t take care of ourselves?
My answer is—no. I do believe that each of us holds the power to be healthier, happier, and more balanced. But the struggle to get there is very real—and it’s not all on us. Accepting that we live in a culture that’s not always conducive to healthy, balanced living helps relieve the pressure we put on ourselves.
So, what do we do? We can’t change this massive culture we are all inserted into. But we can create our own mini-spheres of influence around us. I call this building your OWN culture of good health. This is what each barre3 studio symbolizes, but it can also extend beyond our studios and right into your life all day long. My mom once told me, “surround yourself with people who feed you.” She didn’t mean literally feed me—but this helps too! She meant that I should surround myself with people who support me, nourish me, and make me stronger, healthier, and happier. This is the single most powerful piece of advice I have ever received.
Once I tapped into her wisdom, I created a protective bubble of sorts to help counter all the forces that pull me away from whole-body health. In my late 20s I made a conscious choice to seek out people who supported what I value, like being in the outdoors, taking fun group-exercise classes, eating healthy food, traveling, being silly, having meaningful conversations about relationships, growing old, reading good books, parenting, and all the other things that fill me up.
When I started barre3 in 2008, the most incredible thing happened. My community grew exponentially. I now have hundreds of people who support my healthy lifestyle each day, including everyone I work with here at barre3. So, today for example, I plan to lean on my team. I bet someone would love to have a walking meeting with me. But even if this doesn’t happen, someone here will remind me that being healthy isn’t just about exercising. Someone in my culture of good health will inspire me to take a deep breath, laugh at myself, and move forward in a healthy way.
Chances are, you’ve already begun building your own culture of good health—perhaps without even realizing that’s what you’re doing. It’s the friend who takes barre3 classes with you, the coworker you walk with during lunch to pick up a salad, the sister who texts to remind you to take your Vitamin D. I encourage you to keep building, using my mom’s invaluable advice as your north star. And remember: Just as your culture of good health supports your healthy lifestyle, you support theirs. Embrace that role. We are all teachers AND students in this. We’re all here to learn and discover—and that includes me. It’s collective empowerment, and it’s why our new hashtag #b365 is taking off on Instagram. Our goal is to provide a place for us to connect with each other, support one another, and cheer each other on. It’s a positive way to crowd out unhealthy forces and shift our focus to healthy living. I invite you to share your healthy moments and tag them #b365, and the barre3 community—your community—will rally around you.
