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THIS LOVE LETTER TO B3 IS GIVING US ALL THE FEELS
We absolutely love getting letters from the B3 community—and every once in awhile those letters are so good we just have to share. This is one of them. Sent to us from Jordan Donahue, an instructor at barre3 Bellingham, the letter encapsulates so much of what B3 is all about, while taking us through Jordan’s incredible journey. Thank you, Jordan, for sharing!
THIS IS A BARRE3 LOVE STORY.
Doctor appointments are the only time I have stepped on a scale, and I don’t watch the nurse balance the number in front of me. I haven’t weighed myself in 8 years. Yes, I am an eating disorder survivor.I’ve always been open about my disorder. Mostly because I believe it’s important for all people, regardless of gender, to hear a story that has nothing to do with weight and everything to do with mental health. I was a ballerina who trained for over eight hours a day, burning thousands of calories, studied at local intensives and prestigious companies like the Kirov Academy. I was good, very good. Yet, never once, did I struggle with eating (or not eating). While studying in Washington D.C. I remember hearing girls vomit in the bathroom stalls beside me, and I couldn’t imagine a life revolving around being consumed with food.
Then my home life fell apart. It wasn’t the first time that my innermost environment had found unimaginable chaos. I had been fighting to survive for years and finally realized that I couldn’t. I couldn’t survive. My mental health plummeted. At just 16 years old, I was the glue that held my family together… barely. I didn’t realize this at the time, but I didn’t have the option to give up. This is when I turned to an eating disorder. Looking back I can clearly see how having something to devote myself obsessively to was a coping mechanism. I hadn’t struggled with body issues and didn’t—even within my eating disorder. Without going into details, I struggled for a couple years before one day I felt like I was struck by lightning, woke up, and stopped all of my eating-disorder habits instantly. This experience saved my life, literally.
As I began living a “normal” lifestyle around food and exercise, my body went into famine mode and my weight ballooned. For the first time in my life, I struggled deeply with body confidence. I’d always been extremely fit (think professional ballerina bod), healthy, and confident. I knew to expect this rebound as my body stored everything as fat, but it didn’t make it any easier. As my eating disorder disappeared, my mental health (the root of the disorder in the first place) deepened. I struggled alone. None of my friends, family, or coworkers had any idea I was drowning inside of myself.
I didn’t find B3; B3 found me. My friend and mentor asked me to help her open a studio. I simply poured my heart and soul into the business as a studio manager and instructor. B3 was everything I wanted to be: warm, bright, forgiving, and gracious, and it found me in the space I was both emotionally and physically. Before opening our studio, I went to the Portland flagship studio several times and immersed myself in their community. I was surrounded by humans of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and beliefs. Yet, we all came together with the same aspiration: to find a community of grace. One special thing about B3 is that it meets you right where you are. It doesn’t scream at you, tell you what to do, or who you should be. It doesn’t even give you a list of rules. It invites you in and lets you adapt both the workout and the lifestyle to your body’s needs.
From the moment I met B3, I knew it was more than a workout. However, I couldn’t describe exactly what that looked like or meant. Each instructor is unique and brings you the B3 workout with strength, integrity, and wisdom. Many of the B3 mantras sounded obvious when I first took class, yet my body and mind didn’t accept them as my own. Slowly they seeped into my body and mind as truths that have become my own as I realized how powerful and resilient my body has always been. B3 spoke truths to me every single class and accepted me for who I was. If I felt tired and weighed down, it let me rest and feel energized. When I had a stressful week, it nourished me and gave my mind a place to rest. When I felt like a badass, it allowed me to repeatedly break through plateaus and be creative in my body.
Almost five years later, I look back and see that B3 wooed me, pursued me, and slowly taught me how to love my body again. Without realizing it, I went from hating to shower because I couldn’t stand seeing myself naked to wanting more curves in my body (yass booty and thighs!). From little things like the B3 magazine encouraging me to eat loads of avocado and coconut oil (FAT: an eating-disorder’s nightmare), the soul-saving music during class, new moves that makes me sore like it’s my first class all over again; to the the big things like a client glowing brighter as each month goes by, a new connection or understanding with my body and a community who accepts me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Last week, I stepped onto a scale. I smiled to myself because I don’t care about the weight. I realized that in the past four years I had lost more than 20 pounds without even realizing it. I eat more food now than I ever have, I drink wine, I enjoy carne asada tacos, all while maintaining a mostly real/whole-foods diet. I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been. And I look good, too. Three years ago, B3 showed me that I am strong enough to let a community of support in my life. I went back to college and got a Human Services degree, started seeing a counselor (best decision ever), fell in love with the most accepting companion possible, and started a career as a social worker. B3 not only healed my body, it healed my mind. It slowly brought me out of place where I refused support, and it taught me that I need both vulnerability and community. If you come take my class, I will say adapt each posture to fit your body’s needs. I will say let chaos enter your body (shakes and quakes, yass) because letting go of control is how we grow. I will say let B3 meet you right where you are today, but don’t forget to meet B3 where you are able to arrive today. I will always remind you that every day is different, and that is okay. Yes, I will say those things and many others, because you need to hear them. I do too. And you look amazing there at the barre… that B3 glow looks good on you. Let’s glow up together.
Xoxo
We absolutely love getting letters from the B3 community—and every once in awhile those letters are so good we just have to share. This is one of them. Sent to us from Jordan Donahue, an instructor at barre3 Bellingham, the letter encapsulates so much of what B3 is all about, while taking us through Jordan’s incredible journey. Thank you, Jordan, for sharing!
THIS IS A BARRE3 LOVE STORY.
Doctor appointments are the only time I have stepped on a scale, and I don’t watch the nurse balance the number in front of me. I haven’t weighed myself in 8 years. Yes, I am an eating disorder survivor.I’ve always been open about my disorder. Mostly because I believe it’s important for all people, regardless of gender, to hear a story that has nothing to do with weight and everything to do with mental health. I was a ballerina who trained for over eight hours a day, burning thousands of calories, studied at local intensives and prestigious companies like the Kirov Academy. I was good, very good. Yet, never once, did I struggle with eating (or not eating). While studying in Washington D.C. I remember hearing girls vomit in the bathroom stalls beside me, and I couldn’t imagine a life revolving around being consumed with food.
Then my home life fell apart. It wasn’t the first time that my innermost environment had found unimaginable chaos. I had been fighting to survive for years and finally realized that I couldn’t. I couldn’t survive. My mental health plummeted. At just 16 years old, I was the glue that held my family together… barely. I didn’t realize this at the time, but I didn’t have the option to give up. This is when I turned to an eating disorder. Looking back I can clearly see how having something to devote myself obsessively to was a coping mechanism. I hadn’t struggled with body issues and didn’t—even within my eating disorder. Without going into details, I struggled for a couple years before one day I felt like I was struck by lightning, woke up, and stopped all of my eating-disorder habits instantly. This experience saved my life, literally.
As I began living a “normal” lifestyle around food and exercise, my body went into famine mode and my weight ballooned. For the first time in my life, I struggled deeply with body confidence. I’d always been extremely fit (think professional ballerina bod), healthy, and confident. I knew to expect this rebound as my body stored everything as fat, but it didn’t make it any easier. As my eating disorder disappeared, my mental health (the root of the disorder in the first place) deepened. I struggled alone. None of my friends, family, or coworkers had any idea I was drowning inside of myself.
I didn’t find B3; B3 found me. My friend and mentor asked me to help her open a studio. I simply poured my heart and soul into the business as a studio manager and instructor. B3 was everything I wanted to be: warm, bright, forgiving, and gracious, and it found me in the space I was both emotionally and physically. Before opening our studio, I went to the Portland flagship studio several times and immersed myself in their community. I was surrounded by humans of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and beliefs. Yet, we all came together with the same aspiration: to find a community of grace. One special thing about B3 is that it meets you right where you are. It doesn’t scream at you, tell you what to do, or who you should be. It doesn’t even give you a list of rules. It invites you in and lets you adapt both the workout and the lifestyle to your body’s needs.
From the moment I met B3, I knew it was more than a workout. However, I couldn’t describe exactly what that looked like or meant. Each instructor is unique and brings you the B3 workout with strength, integrity, and wisdom. Many of the B3 mantras sounded obvious when I first took class, yet my body and mind didn’t accept them as my own. Slowly they seeped into my body and mind as truths that have become my own as I realized how powerful and resilient my body has always been. B3 spoke truths to me every single class and accepted me for who I was. If I felt tired and weighed down, it let me rest and feel energized. When I had a stressful week, it nourished me and gave my mind a place to rest. When I felt like a badass, it allowed me to repeatedly break through plateaus and be creative in my body.
Almost five years later, I look back and see that B3 wooed me, pursued me, and slowly taught me how to love my body again. Without realizing it, I went from hating to shower because I couldn’t stand seeing myself naked to wanting more curves in my body (yass booty and thighs!). From little things like the B3 magazine encouraging me to eat loads of avocado and coconut oil (FAT: an eating-disorder’s nightmare), the soul-saving music during class, new moves that makes me sore like it’s my first class all over again; to the the big things like a client glowing brighter as each month goes by, a new connection or understanding with my body and a community who accepts me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Last week, I stepped onto a scale. I smiled to myself because I don’t care about the weight. I realized that in the past four years I had lost more than 20 pounds without even realizing it. I eat more food now than I ever have, I drink wine, I enjoy carne asada tacos, all while maintaining a mostly real/whole-foods diet. I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been. And I look good, too. Three years ago, B3 showed me that I am strong enough to let a community of support in my life. I went back to college and got a Human Services degree, started seeing a counselor (best decision ever), fell in love with the most accepting companion possible, and started a career as a social worker. B3 not only healed my body, it healed my mind. It slowly brought me out of place where I refused support, and it taught me that I need both vulnerability and community. If you come take my class, I will say adapt each posture to fit your body’s needs. I will say let chaos enter your body (shakes and quakes, yass) because letting go of control is how we grow. I will say let B3 meet you right where you are today, but don’t forget to meet B3 where you are able to arrive today. I will always remind you that every day is different, and that is okay. Yes, I will say those things and many others, because you need to hear them. I do too. And you look amazing there at the barre… that B3 glow looks good on you. Let’s glow up together.
Xoxo
